A freelancer's account of shedding an old shell

teesoho.

I've bought this domain twice.

The first time was twelve years ago. I'd just started freelancing and kept feeling that I ought to have a website. I happened to post about it on Weibo, and a reader left a comment saying he was a programmer and would be happy to help. So we made one. I chose the domain: tee was my name, and soho stood for that freelance way of life. One person, one desk, making my own living.

The website did get built, but even now I can't remember what it looked like. He gave me an admin panel. It wasn't as visual as the ones we have today, and after a few clicks I had no idea what else I could do. How did I publish a post? I've forgotten. What did the site look like to visitors? I've forgotten that too. All I could contribute then was some visual design. Whether any of it could actually appear on the site was beyond me. The truth was that I didn't have a specific use for it at the time. Once it was built, it just sat there.

Then, one day, the site wouldn't open. I wanted to ask him to take a look, but I felt a little awkward about always bothering him. After that, I had no idea what became of the domain.

Twelve years later, I searched for it again. Amazingly, it was still available. Nobody had registered it. I bought it back for 83 yuan.

This time, the domain is mine, and so is the website.

On June 28, I replaced the laptop I'd been using for thirteen years.

It wasn't slow at all, actually. Photo editing and painting ran smoothly, which is why I'd kept using it for so long. The real problem was the operating system. It was too old to update, so I couldn't install any of the software with AI features. It wasn't that I didn't want to use AI. I couldn't let it in.

By that reckoning, I came to AI quite late.

But late is late. It doesn't feel too late to me.

As soon as I got the new computer, I installed Codex (ChatGPT's desktop AI) and subscribed to ChatGPT. I didn't think much of it that day. I was just changing computers and opening the door to try whatever was waiting outside.

Today is day 108.

Tomorrow, my 200 Pro subscription enters its third cycle. With the first two behind me, I'm thinking about trying some new things in the coming month.

For these three months, I've spent more than 16 hours a day working with AI. Almost the whole time I've been awake, something has been beside me, working along with me.

On the Codex side, I've used a total of 14 billion tokens (computing resources).

That's how these three months have gone.

Over these three months, some things have quietly fallen away.

I've stopped gaming. I've stopped reading novels. Even my taste in videos has changed. Things I used to enjoy now get two minutes before I swipe away. I follow a different set of people. I talk to a different set of people.

Old habits are falling away one layer at a time, and the new ones haven't fully formed. It feels like shedding a shell. When the shell gets old, it loosens by itself. I still can't quite see what I'll look like after I come out of it. At a time when AI is changing this quickly, at least, I've chosen to shed the shell first and see what happens.

I can't say whether that's good or bad. I can't label it positive or negative. All I can say is that it's different.

These models keep getting stronger. Some things I'd never even dared to imagine, they have thought of for me. Other things I imagined long ago but couldn't make at the time might become possible in the next version. That feels good.

The biggest change is that I no longer have to keep my imagination in storage.

I used to have a little drawer permanently lodged in my head. Whenever I had an idea, I'd write it down and wait until I had the time, the money, or the opportunity. Most of the time, that “someday” never came.

Now it's different. An idea pops into my head, and if AI can help make it, I do it that day. It becomes an article, a video, an image, or a small project. It goes from something imagined to something I can open, look at, and show to someone else.

Take the watercolor charts I just made. This kind of work used to mean endless copying and pasting, researching scattered information and piecing it together by hand. I'd tried a few times, found it too much trouble, and put it aside. This time, it came together quickly.

Then there's Sanmu's digital avatar. I know nothing about the software involved, but today's models can operate a computer directly. They worked through the steps for me, and the thing got made. I don't need to know exactly how they did it. They did get the job done.

There's something Wang Runyu said that I really agree with. In this era, he said, allow yourself to “act as if you understand, even when you don't.” I don't have to figure out exactly how AI works behind the scenes. It really has made the thing. What I need to know is what I want.

Of everything in that pile, the website still carries the most weight.

Twelve years ago, I wanted a website but couldn't even work out how to maintain one. This time is different. I've built it, and with a single sentence I can gather articles and videos from different platforms into one place of my own. I've watched it grow from a few empty frameworks into something with basic functions, then brought in the scattered older work and the newly published pieces, one by one.

Twelve years ago, I didn't even know where that door was. This time, I built the door myself.

It has a name now. I call it Cyber Tee Sang, my online self.

A version of me living online.

For much of these three months, I haven't been painting.

For more than a decade, I've relied on the fluency in these hands. Stop for three months, and some of that touch will fade.

But I don't regret it. A person only has so much time and attention. I've given mine to what feels more valuable to me right now. I've been painting for thirty or forty years. A few months won't make that much difference. Working with AI is also creating, to me. It's also putting things out into the world. Some of the fluency in my hands has slipped, but another kind has grown in its place.

I've met a few people along the way, too. In my old circle, not many people used AI deeply. It was only by heading further into it myself that I gradually came across others heading the same way. Most of them are still beginners too, but they're willing to try and to make things. We haven't talked much, but I can sense them there. I can see what they're trying and what they've made. That's enough.

As for what I can actually do, I'm still the person who picked up a pencil at four. I can paint. I can write. I know whether an image looks good and how to phrase a sentence so it feels comfortable to read. What AI helps me do is turn that judgment and sense of aesthetics into finished things I can open and feel ready to show.

I'm doing this for others now, too. Helping independent creators like me, and some very small businesses, put AI into their own hands and make it useful to them. I'm also happy to use myself as a case study and bring friends along to try it. Things are changing so quickly. One person takes a step ahead, then helps those behind along a little. That feels good.

This is the most tangible thing I've gained in these 108 days.

Tomorrow, the third cycle begins.

I'll get through it first, and see from there.